How I manage to start a conversation with anyone

Goodbye small-talk…

As an introvert, I used to cringe at the thought of conversating with strangers. 

Kinda sad, right? 

But everything changed when I set out for a 3 month solo expedition abroad. 

Why?

I was forced to make friends or eat lunch alone for the fifth day in a row. 

So I did. 

And it turns out — socializing is easier than it seems.

Here’s what I learned…

# 1 | INTROS 

Let’s say you’re walking down Loner Road and decide to enter a café to pick up your spirits. 

You notice an interesting local girl. 

Now…

How do you go from NPC to lead interest? 

First, gather your cajones. 

Then use an initiator that combines:

1. A simple question 
2. Compliment 

For example: 

“Hey, I like your bracelet, where did you get it from?” 

Don’t overthink it. 

You’re simply breaking the ice and assessing for compatibility. 

These days, most people are caught up in the virtual world…

So even basic conversational talents are admired. 

For the awkward pauses — 

Keep default questions on hand: 

• How’s your day going?
• What’s your favorite karaoke spot around here?
• Where are you from? (best while traveling)

Remember…

Listening is essential. 

It’s like the Da Vinci Code for communication. 

You should be listening 80% of the time while commenting occasionally. 

This allows you to guide the conversation to something more meaningful. 

More on that now…

# 2 | DEEPER 

Okay bet. 

“But how do you go from small talk to soul talk?” 

After all, chatting about the weather isn’t memorable nor extraordinary. 

Simply put — go deeper. 

Here are the five topics I use to expand any convo:

1. Work or school
2. The city
3. Pop culture 
4. Dreams 
5. Family 

Ask about places they want to visit in the city. 

Or the spookiest movies of all time. 

It almost doesn’t matter. 

Why? 

Most guys worry themselves sick even before taking the risk.

Especially if it’s someone they find attractive. 

So I’ll just quote the quote for a refresher: 

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” — Wayne Gretzky

In other words…

Nobody is going to sh!t on your shoes for using your vocal cords. 

Stop caring.

Exit the bounds of “Mr. Normal.” 

That’s how you make a genuine first-impression. 

# 3 | CLOSE

Ironically, the secret to incredible conversation isn’t the introduction…

It’s the closing. 

Why? 

Scarcity is desirable. 

This is the reason people go band for band on vintage nickels. 

So…

Keep the encounter short, ideally less than 5 minutes. 

Then leave in style.

How? 

If you want to see them again: 

“Hey, I’m meeting a friend at the pet store, but let’s catch the sunset tomorrow…”

Not feeling it?

“My friend just texted me with a code red, but it was nice meeting you…”

I like exaggerating for effect, because it makes you instantly more memorable.

It also serves as a great conversation starter for the next one.