How to be social AF for guys (no bs guide)

No more lonely nights…

I love my solitude. 

I honestly might have Tibetan monk inside my DNA. 

But I have to admit…

Living on an island isn’t as cool as it sounds.

Life’s best memories are made with people. 

Nothing beats exploring new cities with the boys. 

Or meeting potential flames at hipster coffee lounges. 

We’re social creatures after all. 

But lately, it seems like we’ve collectively forgotten the art of socialization. 

In reality…

It’s not so complicated. 

Here’s what I’ve learned about social attraction…

# 1 | IMPRESSIONS

So there’s a caveat. 

Yes, friends can be made anytime, anyplace. 

But it becomes a lot easier when you PRESENT yourself. 

How? 

First-impressions are hygiene plus style. 

Regardless of charisma points, stinky breath gets you curved. 

Be sure to…

• Take care of yourself 
• Dress well 

The essentials are skincare, grooming, dental, and scent. 

For style, adopt a clean look while adding flair with accessories. 

Think of it this way: 

It’s like thumbnails on YouTube.

Would you click on a unorganized messy one? 

Probably not. 

Still, don’t use this as a crutch to stay in self-improvement purgatory. 

Content is king.

Here’s how to come with the heat… 

# 2 | BREAK ICE

My guys…

You can’t expect strangers to come up to you on demand (including your dream girl). 

We’re just not there yet.

Unless we’re talking shifty salesmen, I can count the number of times I’ve been approached on one hand. 

Take initiative.

To make moves, you’ll need some icebreakers.

Here’s what I use: 

• Complement AND/OR 
• Question 

It goes something like this: 

“Hey, I like that patch on your jacket. Where did you get it from?” 

You can also make an observation…

“That looks really good, what is it?” 

No need to reinvent the wheel. 

But the compliment has to be sincere. 

Why?

People can see through BS flattery. 

Once you’ve cracked the first layer…

Gauge for interest. 

I’m sure there’s a pile of books out there on this — but don’t complicate it. 

It’s simple. 

One word answers? — bid them adieu.

You are now running late to a romantic rendezvous.

Playful chatter and smiles? 

Have fun.

# 3 | NO INTERVIEWS 

Conversation isn’t just about asking questions. 

It’s not an interview. 

But people do like talking about themselves and being heard…

So prepare to be on listening mode for 80% of the time. 

And there is a good way to listen: 

• Eye contact
• Head tilt
• Occasional nodding and comments 

When you do ask questions — skip the weather talk. 

Unless it’s literally raining cats and dogs, don’t mention it. 

Instead…

Learn about their hobbies, goals, and family/friends. 

This is more memorable and builds a deeper connection.

After you get comfortable talking to new people…

Start injecting humor into your repertoire.

For example: 

Swap out “Where are you from?” for “You look like a Southern girl.”

Making lighthearted assumptions is more likely to kickstart a conversation than standard questions. 

I stole this from the big dog, Mark Manson. 

But it doesn’t really matter what you say.

Just avoid being predictable and blending into the crowd. 

# 4 | BDY LANG

“Be confident.”

I’m sure you’ve heard that phrase more than once by now. 

So what exactly is confidence? 

My opinion — it’s the absence of self-doubt. 

There are certain ways you can signal confidence, such as…

• Eye contact 
• Slow movements
• Open body language 
• Low tone 
• Smiling 

A smile shows that you come in peace. 

It also makes everyone more relaxed (including you).

However, true confidence comes from repetition. 

There’s no other substitute. 

More on that now…

# 5 | IMAGES 

I recently finished a book with a fancy title called “Psychocybernetics” by Maxwell Maltz. 

In a nutshell…

Social interaction is about framing. 

For example: 

If you see socialization as fun and relaxing, it becomes easy. 

Don’t let the “I hate people” or “nobody likes me” mindset hold you back. 

Implement a daily mantra to seed your desired outlook. 

Okay. 

But let’s say you’ve genuinely forgotten how to talk to people. 

Put that phone on DND mode. 

Use this system:

• Think confidence 
• Act quickly 
• Repeat

Socialization is a learnable skill. 

But the fear of embarrassment keeps most guys on the sidelines. 

This framework boosts your self-image and eliminates time spent in analysis paralysis. 

Remember — making conversation is nothing but an experiment to master your craft. 

With each step, socialization becomes more intuitive.