The Dating Advice I'd Give My Younger Self
Why most single men stay ghosted…
So a few years ago, I went on this date with this beautiful Spanish woman while visiting San Francisco.
Sounds great, right?
Sadly, she was a little too gorgeous.
You see…
Growing up as a skinny kid with no swag, my default mode was to act like one, despite now being in my late 20s.
Let’s just say I rarely made it passed first base.
This date included.
Mierda.
My brain kept blocking me from a good time (or a wife), and I finally was sick of it.
So instead wasting more tissue paper…
I consulted with my best friend — who everyone seems to fall in love with.
He shared the most common dating blunders of single men.
Here’s what I learned…
Needy Texting
How often do you find yourself waiting on a message?
Unless it’s the results from your paternity test…
The answer should be never.
Texting immediately or in paragraph format signals two things:
- No options
- No life
Neither are attractive.
We’re naturally inclined to associate scarcity with desirability.
Does that mean it’s true?
No.
But it’s the same reason gold is more valuable than copper.
So…
In the early stages of relationship kindling, focus your text game on setting up the date.
Inject humor.
Save the small talk for later.
This is the best way to assess for interest anyways.
Leaving The Ball In Her Court
Decisiveness is a quality that women look for in their partners.
To make your dates as attractive as possible…
Reduce the amount of friction required for attendance.
For instance:
Instead of forcing her to spend an hour contemplating on where to go…
Shoot her this text:
“Hey I’m taking a pasta making class tonight, come join.”
OR
“Wine bar @ 8?”
Your text should be a yes or no.
That’s it.
All she has to do is get ready and pull up.
Playing It Safe
The quickest way to the friend zone…
Acting like a friend.
Safe is not sexy.
Otherwise Indiana Jones would work a cubicle (no offense).
So if your intention is to be more than friends…
Take the risk.
Here’s how:
- Playful banter
- Reciprocate touch
- Make a move on the first date
Okay.
But what if you have a crippling fear of rejection?
I used to struggle with that — until I changed the way I looked at dating.
How?
I started viewing attraction as a learnable skillset.
Each interaction becomes a lesson in social mastery.
And the pressure evaporates.
Here are some other tools:
- Override anxiety by acting quickly
- Change your self-image with mantras
Ultimately, remind yourself that staying in your comfort zone is what’s keeping you single.
Not your lack of a Bugatti or sculpted abs.
Otherwise — we would have gone extinct a minute ago.
Zero Edge
Most men have trouble dating because they don’t exude a confident energy.
In other words…
- They dress boring
- They have closed body language
- They lack an assertive tone
Like Walter Mitty before his expedition.
But don’t worry — adding edge doesn’t require longboarding a volcano.
In reality, the bar is set pretty low.
Your average guy is happy playing Minecraft or whatever every weekend.
So as long as you’re developing your social skills while fine-tuning your physical appearance…
You’ll stand out.
It’s never been easier to be above the norm.
Just takes a pinch of effort.
Signaling Drought
The ultimate repellent.
When I was younger, I put crushes on a pedestal like it was a hobby.
I might have well sent out “please marry me” letters after first introductions.
It was lame.
Thankfully, I realized that some clichés are true.
There are too many fish in the sea to be acting like this is your last catch.
And here’s a secret:
The less attached you are to the outcome, the easier dating becomes.
That’s right.
The Stoic mindset works for dating too.
Why?
You’re less likely to overreact and therefore stay charismatic.
Also, you’re able to think with the right brain.
There’s nothing more unattractive than someone who clings on when there’s no spark there.
Don’t be that guy.
Be you.
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