Want to Defeat Your Fears? — Stop Running

Sadly, most people go through life without proper self-examination. 

As a result…

They become trapped by their own thinking. 

Consider this: 

How different would your life be if you could do anything with the push of a button? 

Maybe you could ask out that barista? 

Push for a promotion? 

Or finally click “go” on that solo trip you’ve been dreaming about? 

All of this is possible — because the world is inherently an abundant place. 

The limitation is you. 

This is how to defeat your fears…

# 1 | FEAR OF REJECTION 

“The reality is life is a single-player game. You’re born alone. You’re going to die alone. All of your interpretations are alone. All your memories are alone. You’re gone in three generations and nobody cares…”— Naval Ravikant 

Why do we fear rejection?  

Rejection applies when we PERCEIVE things as a process of “application.”

Applying for school, work, dates…

So the best way to remove the fear of rejection is to reframe the word entirely. 

You can’t be “rejected” if you’re not “applying” in the first place. 

In other words — 

View any process as an experiment for your own skill set. 

That’s all it is.

Okay…

But what if your conditioning is just too strong to break?

There is another way.

First, identify what causes YOUR fear of rejection. 

It’s usually these 3 programs: 

1. anticipatory anxiety 
2. anti-hype talk  
3. flight 

These are all protective mechanisms from when we were hunter-gathers running neked through the savanna. 

So how do you defeat them? 

Act quickly. 

Use a mantra like “you can do this.” 

Embrace the fear. 

Also, focus on remembering the moments where you have defeated fear, and use that to fuel your present battle. 

# 2 | FEAR OF DEATH

I used to be obsessed with immortality. 

Like Jack Sparrow voyaging the seven seas levels of obsession. 

Until I read a book: 

“Surely you know that dying is also one of life’s duties.” —  Seneca, in Letters From a Stoic.

Heavy hitter, right? 

Basically: 

I realized that my fear of death came from my own discontentment. 

Sure, you might have a few more bucket listers. 

I still want to drink a Turkish at Gobekli Tepe. 

But is it really so bad to perish in the process of living?

All you can really do is embrace the present. 

If death brings you fear, then consider reevaluating your way of life…

Are you living the way you want to? 

# 3 | FEAR OF SUCCESS  

Here’s something that took me years to understand:

You don’t actually fear failure. 

You fear change and success. 

Think about it: 

We’re naturally wired to stay in our comfort zones.

Dealing with 10 familiar problems is easier than taking on a new one. 

But truthfully, success requires constant iteration. 

Learn to embrace it.

Change is the only action that will bring success.

THE BLUEPRINT

So how do you actually APPLY any of this? 

Two options: 

A) just do it

B) level up

I recommend option B.

Here’s an example:

Let’s say you’re having trouble asking out someone you like. 

Imagine something like this: 

Fill in the levels with personal challenges based on difficulty. 

Think of it as a skill. 

Of course, this applies well to fear of rejection and success. 

Not so much fear of death. 

For that, reading Stoic and Eastern philosophy has helped.