Jul 20, 2024 4 min read

How to Make Great Conversation With Anyone

No more dry convos…

What would you do if you could effortlessly talk to anyone?

Boss up your dating life, make new friends, or just have fun?

This is not a pipe dream.

As an introvert, I used to HATE conversating with people.

Playing Sims sounded better than stepping outside.

Ironic, right?

But as I got older, I realized…

Making great conversation is easy.

And the adventures it can lead to are priceless.

Here’s how to make A1 conversation with anyone…

# 1 | INITIATION

Starting a conversation requires one of two initiators:

Simple question
Compliment

If you’re feeling extra spicy — you can combine both of them.

For example:

“Hey, I like those shoes, where did you get them from?”

Keep it LIGHT.

Avoid any questions about their first-born for now.

And honestly, don’t overthink it.

I’ve met people at hotel lobbies just by asking:

“So, where are you coming from?”

Most people are caught in the virtual world, so the bar is set pretty low IRL.

Take advantage of it.

# 2 | LANGUAGE

Time to learn some Spanish and Mandarin boys…

Just kidding — you don’t need to be a Xiaoma here.

Communication is mostly nonverbal.

In other words —

Body language and listening.

Here are some tips for your glow up:

Maintain eye contact
Head-tilt (shows you’re listening)
Talk slower (confidence)

Practice these in EVERY social interaction, from the coffee shop to Whole Foods.

Why?

Essentially, you have to train your brain to use these skills on autopilot.

Once you’ve integrated these into the system — it’s fun.

# 3 | DESIRES

Alright, so now you’re having a conversation.

But…

It’s boring AF.

Head-tilting while chatting about weather probably isn’t giving Tony Stark.

So how do you advance the conversation?

Understand what the other person secretly craves and desires.

Basically…

Guide the conversation towards a genuine interest, and then go into 3D listening mode.

Listening is 80% of the game.

# 4 | DEEP END

Okay…

But how do you ACTUALLY go from small talk to connection?

If you’re trying to go deep…

Simply expand the conversation.

Here are some topics to dive into, organized by depth:

1) Work / school

2) Pop culture

3) Hobbies

4) Goals

5) Family / friends (deepest)

Select the topic based on signals from your convo partner.

Remember — it’s a two way street.

Exit gracefully if they’re not in the mood.

# 5 | CURTAIN CALL

Most people get stuck on initiating conversation…

But how you exit is the impressionable part.

Keep conversations to a minimum (unless you’re soul-bonding).

Think 5 minutes or less.

Otherwise you risk getting sucked into a life story, when you really just want to go home and watch The Sopranos.

So how do you exit?

Take advantage of “urgency.”

For instance…

“Hey I have to run and meet a friend, he caught appendicitis…”

“My dog just texted me — it’s a code red…”

“I have a bucket of Ben & Jerry’s in the car, but let’s keep in touch…”

Don’t be afraid to exaggerate for effect.

It makes you more memorable anyways.

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If you want to learn more about social attraction, check this out: